Destiny is Not a Matter of Chance, it is a Matter of Choice; it is Not a Thing to be Waited for, it is a Thing to be Achieved.
~William Jennings Bryan
My title sounds like I am talking to furniture. Nope I am not my friends, I am talking to THE CHAIR, the all important one. The person who will make sure I finish this PhD.
So we have set a new date for Comps, May 6-9th.
We talked at length about the new questions and I am going to start answering them to an extent and have my chair give me feedback. I must pass them this time. I have also given myself more time to perfect it and worry more....lol maybe not the worrying.
I have often told students that they need to set aside a time and just worry in that time but that they are not allowed to worry any other time during the day except during that time. Usually they can't so then they stop worrying.
It is in the school's best interest that I pass my comps this time. I will I promise.
Then the next step is oral comps which I will rock at.
Then I have to propose my prospectus.
Once I do that I don't have to supervise any more Masters students. It will give me more time to just write. Plus my husband will be back finishing his BA. So plenty of time to write.
But first things first....Comps.
I think I will act like its my first time taking comps. That might make it better. That way I don't fear failing again. And I won't think of the consequences of failing.
In a way I think that the questions are easier.....did they dumb it down? Do I care if they did? Not really, nope not at all.
The sun is shining and I feel more energetic but its still not saying much since well I usually would be asleep right now. I am on the mend though.
It is really nice to read here that things are going so well for you. Things are looking up for me as well.
ReplyDeleteI was at the point of quitting, perhaps changing schools. I realized that a lot of my anxiety and stress was due to my adviser, who told me that I was not cut out to be a scholar, and that perhaps since I am good at using Photoshop to make her conference poster, maybe I should go work making book covers. Yes, she seriously said this to me.
I thought I was trapped with her, but I approached another professor, and he agreed to take me on, despite the fact that I was convinced that I was as useless as my previous adviser said I was.
I will now retake the comps in the Fall as if it was the first time, with this new adviser. Everything is already much better with him, and I don't mind the fact that my ex-adviser told me explicitly that she doesn't ever want to have anything to do with me anymore.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. It is so nice to know I am not the only one going through this, although I have been told that it is exceedingly rare for someone to fail in my department :/